City Manager’s Column—Family Matters 

May 12, 2003

             About a month ago, I was giving our 2 1/2-year old a bath.  I admit that my wife, Julie, usually pulls this duty, so it is usually my turn to give him a bath whenever she says it is.  

            Ben likes going outdoors.  He likes Blue’s Clues videos.  He likes to take things out of containers and put them back in again.  And, he likes to take baths.

            He likes to put his hands under the water as it shoots out of the bathtub faucet.  He sometimes protests when you turn it off.  He likes to blow bubbles in the water, and he likes bathtub toys—of which he has several.

            Although he seems to understand a lot of the English language, he doesn’t use much of it yet.  Some of his favorite words are:  “Outdoors,” “outside,” “cookie,” “keys,” “no, no, no” which seems to mean “another,” and “tickle, tickle.”  He also has several non-words that he likes to say. 

            It was a little past 7:00 p.m.  I had just gotten home from City Hall and changed my clothes.  I filled up the bathtub and put some bubble bath in to get some suds going.  I also tossed in several of his toys.  On that particular night, I was feeling a little tired, so I decided to lie down next to the tub.  Occasionally, Ben would say one of his words or one of his non-words.  I would respond in kind.  Every few minutes, he’d drop one of his toys out of the tub and onto me as I was lying there.  I’d toss it back.  He’d usually giggle at this. 

            About 25 minutes passed, so I decided to sit up. 

            Ben then said, “Tick-le, tick-le.”  As I was sitting up, I saw that Ben was throwing a ball to me.  It was about the size of his hand.  It landed on the bathroom floor, between my legs.  I thought, “Hmm, I wonder when his mommy gave him this new ball…new, brown ball.”  Then, I thought, “Hey, this brown ball really smells bad.” 

            I finally realized that the boy had done an illegal #2 in the bathtub and had just lobbed it at me. 

            Somewhat startled, my legs suddenly shot wider apart.  Half-laughing and half-moaning, I said, “Ben, don’t throw that at daddy!” 

            I reached up and grabbed some Kleenex.  I picked up the forbidden object, lifted up the toilet lid, and flushed it to our newly renovated wastewater treatment plant.

            Just then, I heard another “Tick-le, tick-le.”  As I was turning around to look at Ben, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that another new ball was heading in my direction.  Falling short, it hit the linoleum with a slight thud. 

            I started laughing again.  “Benjamin, cut that out.  You’re not supposed to do that.” 

            When I looked in the tub and saw that he had plenty of ammo left, I yelled, “Julie!” 

            I think the literal lesson from all of this is:  Never lie down on the job while giving your kid a bath. 

*               *               *

            Happiness is when the height of the blade on your push mower is exactly the same height as the blade on your riding mower.  

            If you had told me this 30 years ago, I wouldn’t have believed it.